Why I Teach My Clients There Are No Good Foods or Bad Foods
There are only healthy or unhealthy eating habits and beliefs
Content Warning: This story contains graphic detail about binge eating and bulimic episodes. Additionally, various words are in quotations to represent disordered thoughts and phrases.
Photo by Javier Quiroga on Unsplash
Ice cream, pizza, oil- and cream-based dressings and condiments, nuts and nut butters, cheese, burritos, fried anything, my mom’s monkey bread—these are just a few of the dozens upon dozens of “fattening” foods I deprived myself of for more than 15 years as I battled an eating disorder (ED).
Naturally, these “prohibited” foods presented themselves at nearly every turn I took—lunch dates with friends, visits home, birthday celebrations, group bike rides that ended with a happy hour, stops at the office break room, grocery store runs, and the list goes on and on.
Most of the time, I resisted any temptation to say “screw it” and treat myself to a serving of whatever sweet, doughy, salty, crunchy, creamy, ooey gooey goodness was calling my name.
Most of the time.
In the times I did choose to honor my cravings, my ED voice took over and berated me with comments like, “You are weak,” “You are disgusting,” “You are feeding your body poison, and I hope it amasses itself in your waistline.”
One or a combination of toxic behaviors quickly followed. The clients I now work with as a certified eating disorder and disordered eating recovery coach can relate to these, and, perhaps, so can you.
I more strictly restricted my food.
To make up for the “empty” calories I consumed, I cut my food intake for the remainder of the day or the following day to compensate for my “slip up.”
Bear in mind that I was already under-eating as it was, so omitting even more food intensified my incessant food thoughts.
I exercised to “erase” the calories.
Not only did the exercise serve as a distraction from food; it also permitted me to eat as though I hadn’t indulged earlier in the day.
Most often, however, I didn’t just have one serving of tempting food and then restrict or workout extra. Most often, I did what anyone suffering from bulimia nervosa does.
I binged and purged.
If I was alone in a setting with “forbidden” food, odds are I mindlessly ate multiple servings of it and then sought out more fatty, sugary, processed foods to binge on until everything in sight was gone or my stomach was ready to burst—whichever came first.
Following my binge episode was a strenuous visit to the bathroom where I had to rid my body of the “contaminates” I ingested moments earlier via self-induced vomiting.
The impending guilt, shame, and disparagement practically handicapped me. My ED voice said to me, “If only you wouldn’t have taken that first bite, you wouldn’t be hovered over this toilet seat right now, would you?”
The thing is, my ED voice had it backward (which I later learned was usually the case). Labeling foods as “good” or “bad” did not put me on a healthy track; it set me up for perpetual self-destructive eating behaviors.
The benefits of giving yourself permission to eat all foods.
There is nothing inherently wrong with wanting to eat nutritious, wholesome foods and moderating your intake of less nutrient-dense foods. We all have one body and one life to exist in that body, and I fully support fueling yourself with foods that help you function optimally and are known to increase lifespan.
However, if you find yourself troubled or confused about what to eat, learning to eschew the idea that foods are either “good” or “bad” can dramatically transform your relationship with them and enhance your livelihood all-around.
It’s not eating a bowl of ice cream that is unhealthy; it’s obsessing over food to a point that you feel out of control around it that is unhealthy.
You no longer find “unhealthy” foods so tempting or alluring.
Depriving yourself of certain foods is akin to telling a small child she can play with any one of the dozens of toys in the playroom except for the red ball. Suddenly, a very ordinary ball becomes the most intriguing toy of the entire loot. She must play with it. She must find out why it is off-limits and what makes it special. If the child had permission to play with all of the toys, however, there’s a fair chance she may not have even touched (let alone noticed) the red ball.
Giving yourself permission to eat whatever you want can automatically diminish any prolonging desire to indulge in foods you’ve long perceived as “bad” or “fattening”. After all, it’s not eating a bowl of ice cream that is unhealthy; it’s obsessing over food to a point that you feel out of control around it that is unhealthy.
Me (Mikaela) with my favorite potato chips that I can enjoy guilt-free, which was not the case for most of my life.
You are not anxious about social events involving food.
No more stressing about bringing your own“healthy” snack.
No more endless hunger pangs because you’re starving but there are no “safe” foods to eat.
No more preoccupying yourself with which “forbidden” foods everyone else is eating and thinking you’re the one in control when, in all actuality, you are being controlled by your rigid food rules.
You are less likely to develop or continue disordered eating behaviors.
Cases of orthorexia (extreme obsession with eating healthily) appear to be on the rise, and celebrity-endorsed fad diets like “clean eating” are a plausible contributor to this trend. According to WebMD, clean eating means choosing foods that are as natural as possible to lower one’s risk factors associated with certain health diseases.
While, on its surface level, “clean eating” seems well-intentioned, the connotations of the term itself can be harmful. People develop a fear of having a “dirty” diet and become such rigid “clean eaters” that they compulsively check food labels or refuse to eat snacks or meals they didn’t prepare themselves.
In some cases, the orthorexia manifests into binge eating disorder (BED) or bulimia (eating large quantities of food and then purging). Sometimes the binges are of “clean” foods; other times of “dirty” foods. In either case, the binge urges most likely arise from the super strict food rules that cause the body—and the mind—to feel deprived.
You can stop the self-punishment and self-ridicule.
Whether you can identify with being a clean eater or someone seeking to lose weight by avoiding certain foods, you’ve likely experienced a “cheat day” in your time. For days or weeks, you’ve been on your best eating behavior, but then—whether planned or impulsively—you indulge in some “junk” food.
In the moment, you might shut your brain off and shift into “I don’t give a fuck” mode. Later, you’re chastising yourself for dropping the ball and might even seek compensatory behaviors like an extra hour on the elliptical or reducing your allotted calorie intake for the day. The cycle of restricting, bingeing, and self-deprecation begins again.
However, when you allow yourself to eat all foods at your leisure and not classify them as “red light foods” or“green light foods,” you can stop associating your dignity with whether or not you decide to eat a cupcake. This is food freedom at its core.
You base your food choices on more than their ingredients.
Allowing yourself to eat all types of foods can be as informative as it is freeing. Let’s say, for example, you eat some fried pickles — a food you normally avoid like the plague because you classify them as a “bad” food.
You may discover you absolutely love the taste of fried pickles but that your stomach disagrees with them. Moving forward, you may steer clear of or only choose to eat fried pickles sometimes — not because they’re a “bad” food but because you don’t feel like farting the whole way home.
You are more likely to arrive at your set point weight.
Set point weight is the weight at which your individual body functions most optimally. You can read more about set point weight here, but the main takeaway is that, unless you are heavily restricting food or overeating, your body has a preset weight range of about four to seven pounds that it gravitates toward.
Becoming overly militant about what you eat means you may be manipulating the ideal weight your body is meant to be at, due either to underfeeding (causing you to be under your set point weight) or regularly succumbing to binge eating or “cheat” days (causing you to be over your set point weight).
Let your body, values, and well-being be your guide.
I am not condoning anyone to eat Fruity Pebbles every day for breakfast or a sleeve of Oreos every night before bed. The primary message I’m sending is that if strict food rules are causing you more harm than good, consider loosening up your guidelines—and perhaps begin by dismissing the notion that foods are merely “good” or “bad.”
Here are three steps you can take to help you feel more free and confident in your food choices moving forward.
Listen to your body.
As mentioned in the fried pickles example above, your body is the most reliable source for knowing what you should eat. It constantly gives you feedback and cues in the form of cravings, pleasure, satisfaction, bloat, constipation, and indigestion that can help guide your food choices.
Similarly, if you find certain foods affect your sleep, alertness, or focus, you may choose to abstain from them. Consider doing a cost-benefit analysis to determine if the pleasure of eating a particular food is worth missing out on a good night’s sleep or feeling groggy the rest of the afternoon.
Assess your values.
Food choices are not always determined by a desire to lose weight or look a certain way but by less image-based reasons.
For example, personal health may be a top priority for you, and you hope to live as long as possible without suffering from any ailments or chronic diseases, so you ensure your diet is rich with foods known to prolong health and longevity. If passing up a piece of grandma’s homemade apple pie is no sweat off your back, you have every right to do so.
Adversely, if you’re like me and see food as cultural, social, and sentimental, you may be more inclined to eat certain foods for the sheer experience of eating them. This is not to say you don’t care about your health, but that you view food as more than a source of nourishment.
Whatever your values may be, if you find yourself longing for certain foods but avoiding them simply because you deem them as “foods that cause weight gain,” you may be better off ditching the “good foods vs. bad foods” mentality and enjoying that occasional, scrumptious slice of granny’s pie.
Seek help if you need it.
Changing the way you think about and eat food is no easy task. Suppose you feel you could benefit from being less rigid about your food choices but are struggling to eat more freely. In that case, it could be worth seeking help from a registered dietitian, therapist, and/or eating disorder recovery coach.
A dietitian or nutritionist (preferably one who supports health at every size) can help you formulate a meal plan and assess any vitamin and nutrient deficiencies you have.
A therapist (preferably one who works with eating disorder clients) can diagnose and treat emotional and behavioral disorders, mental illnesses, and underlying issues that may be associated with your unhealthy eating patterns.
A recovery coach can provide ongoing support and personalized strategies for people who possess disordered eating symptoms (food restriction, occasional binge eating, constantly thinking about food, obsessively checking food labels, poor body image) or who have diagnosed cases of severe eating disorders.
I sought help and can move through life today so much for freely knowing my food choices stem not from what I perceive as “good” or “bad” but from what I need to nourish my body, uphold my values, and feed my soul.
I’ve seen this same transformation with my clients.
Should you want it, I hope you make the investment toward food freedom for yourself, too.
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Note: I am not a therapist, dietitian, or licensed mental health professional. I do not take the place of such, thus I cannot provide treatment or give associated professional medical advice.
