To Anyone Who Wants a Different Body
I urge you to ask yourself this one question.
Photo by Lucaxx Freire on Unsplash
My dearest body critic,
I know. Today was supposed to be different.
Yesterday, you felt so excited to begin your journey toward having that beach-ready bod.
You had an entire workout mapped out. You swore you’d abstain from any sweet stuff, any greasy stuff, and you pushed the wine and tequila to the back of the cabinet.
Over and over you chanted, “Let’s fucking do this, baby!” or something spunky like that.
As you slept, you dreamt of yourself lounging by the pool and glistening with happiness in your new and improved frame. Soon enough, that glorious scene would no longer be a fantasy but a real moment in time.
Then tomorrow came. You woke up later than planned, and all that energy and exuberance from the night before had somehow fizzled.
Rather than lining the counter with fruit, spinach, and flax seeds to make your power smoothie, you opted for the Eggos and Mrs. Butterworth’s.
Rather than breaking a sweat from your high-intensity workout, you put on your stretchy pants and wondered if your motionless body would even need a shower.
All the while, you stared yourself down in the mirror and cringed at every cut. You felt angry, disgusted, and disappointed in yourself for ever letting it get to this point and for not having the prolonged wherewithal to do something about it.
You turned on the TV to distract your mind from your saggy, unsightly flesh. But the lean, sanguine figures on the screen reeled you back to the dark side.
Inside you scream, How do they do it? How the fuck do they have bodies like that? Do they just never enjoy a slice of pie or a homemade casserole or happy hour margarita?
I know. You’re at a loss. You’re asking yourself where your willpower is hiding. You’re screaming for it to come out of the woodwork so you can latch onto it and finally get the trim waist, toned legs, and tight ass you’ve seen so many times in your sleep.
I get it. I really do get it.
There is one question I urge you to ask yourself, though, and I make this request with the utmost empathy and compassion:
What is your end game?
If it all boils down to having a body that turns heads and makes you feel like the most attractive person in the room, I want to warn you of the dangers of such thinking.
It could be a never-ending chase. All of the “OMG, you look amazing!” compliments at the beginning are so gratifying and fuel you with the motivation to push yourself even harder. Your goal of losing 6 percent body fat becomes 8 and then 10. Soon enough, your workouts and dietary restrictions grow so intense you’re bypassing friends and family gatherings that could stall your progress. The attainable becomes unattainable because you’re always seeking more.
It may not bring you the personal satisfaction you hoped it would. The compliments start to wane. You haven’t found Mr. or Mrs. Right. There’s always another body across the way taking the attention away from yours, and that drives you ape-shit.
It’s likely not sustainable. Not only does maintaining your ideal appearance require time and effort, but you may reach a breaking point. One cheat day leads to another. And then another. And before you know it, you’re over the regimented bullshit and have thrown it away entirely.
Of course, there are the outliers. The ones who devote their entire lives to being a certain weight, wearing a certain pant size, and bench-pressing a certain number of pounds. They seem happy in this life, and as long as they genuinely are, who am I to scrutinize?
But most of us aren’t like this. Most of us prefer to move through life in a more balanced, moderate way so we aren’t expected to give up or re-prioritize the things we cherish and enjoy.
If you are ‘most of us,’ and want to feel confident in your skin — not just for a couple of months or years but for a lifetime — there is a more viable way to achieve this:
Grow a relationship with your body.
Specifically, the vital organs that exist within it. Take time in your day to check in on your heart, your lungs, your liver, your kidneys, and your brain.
Ask, How can I nourish you today so you can remain strong and resilient?
The answer might be a stroll through the neighborhood.
It might be imperfect yoga on your living room floor.
Maybe it’s a power smoothie replete with all your daily recommended vitamins.
Maybe it’s a stop at your favorite local ice cream shop because your cravings are screaming for some goddamn cookies and cream.
By putting the focus on the junk inside that makes your existence possible, something really remarkable happens: your outsides grow more healthy, too.
Your weight inches closer and closer to its set point — the weight at which your body is inherently designed to be.
Your muscles start to become more visible, not because you’ve been pumping it out at the gym but because you have a healthy amount of insulation.
Your hair, skin, and nails have more shine and durability because all them nutrients, ya dig?
By honing your focus on what the inside of your body needs to thrive, you are naturally influencing how it looks on its exterior.
And that’s just the beginning.
The more you nurture your vital organs, the more your sense of self-worth heightens, which gets at the crux of this whole message — that we all want and deserve to feel comfortable in the body that was gifted to us.
Sure, your dream body might achieve this, but most likely only temporarily.
A body cared for by its beholder from the inside-out, on the other hand, will radiate a worth that extends a lifetime.
