Five Tips to Conquer Your Bathing Suit Anxiety

Changing your body or losing weight isn’t one of them.

Photo by the blowup on Unsplash

It’s officially summer, which means people all over the world are grappling with the fear of being seen in a bathing suit.

As a result, some are taking extreme dieting and exercise measures to achieve a body they find acceptable for the pool crowd. Many have already decided their summer will be devoid of any situation involving swimwear. Others will still partake but with a glut of insecurity consuming them all the while.

This rocks me to my non-six-pack core.

Nobody should feel compelled to wreak such dangerous havoc on their body or deny themself the right to harmless pleasure and fun.

But these toxic behaviors are inevitable in a society where people with larger or fat bodies regularly experience ridicule in a harsh, disgusting way. Not to mention, the less fabric covering the body, the more fierce the ridicule.

I can’t say I fully understand what it’s like to be on the receiving end of that type of shame. I am a white, cisgender, heterosexual woman living in a lean body. So, about as privileged as they come.

I do, however, know what it’s like to suffer from body dysmorphia and prance around with a sucked-in belly, obsessively compare myself to those around me, and virtually starve myself for weeks leading up to pool season just to feel a sliver of self-confidence in my two-piece suit.

Cue “Hot Girl Summer.”

To be perfectly honest, me and my 36-year-old self were not entirely sure what the original meaning or genesis of HGS was, so I did my research before completely going off the rails about it.

And damn, was I surprised.

Rapper Megan Thee Stallion coined the term and described it as women and men “just being unapologetically them, just having a [good] time, hyping up your friends, doing you, [and] not giving a damn about what nobody got to say about it.”

Well shit, that doesn’t sound half-bad.

Unfortunately, the original meaning of HGS does not always ring true in its implementation. Instead, it’s often about making yourself look a certain way so you can be more confident so you can wear a swimsuit so you can do the shit you want to do without being shamed or insulted.

That meaning sucks ass.

It attaches body size and shape to worth and further implants the baneful belief that thin bodies are superior bodies, leaving many who don’t fit that mold feeling unguarded and unworthy.

This is body discrimination.

This is fat phobia.

This is fucked up.

The good news is you don’t have to wait on society to change its ideologies about how you should look. You can go to the beach — in the body you possess right now — and enjoy yourself.

Make a list of affirmations.

I am a big believer in the power of positive self-talk. If you catch yourself comparing your body, feeling inferior, or sensing someone is mocking you, have a list of affirmations handy that you can say aloud or in your head. Some examples:

“I wasn’t given this body for others to look at; I was given this body as a vessel to experience life.”

“Just like hair, skin, and eyes, body shapes and sizes differ. People would be less interesting if we all looked the same.”

“The people who truly care about me don’t love me for my body.”

“I deserve to be here just as much as anyone else.”

“My body is no one else’s business.”

If you’re struggling to come up with affirmations, think of what you might say to a close friend or loved one speaking negatively about their body.

Redirect your focus.

While you should pause to observe any uncomfortable thoughts or feelings you’re experiencing, try not to dwell on them.

Once you’ve said your affirmations, move on to something unrelated. Feel the sun beating down on your skin, wiggle your toes through the sand, take a drink, and open up a book. Anything you hoped your experience by the water would entail — focus on that.

Bring a trusted friend.

If the mere thought of being seen in a bathing suit puts you over the edge, consider inviting a friend who can provide you with some extra support. Make sure that friend is aware of your apprehension before you head to the pool, and plan out a method to communicate with them when you’re experiencing a difficult moment, such as sending a text message or giving a hand gesture.

Don’t expect your friend to talk you to a state of bliss, though. Simply letting them know you’re struggling can be enough to settle yourself, recite your affirmations, and redirect your focus.

Tell yourself that body liberation (not body love) is the goal.

In my own eating disorder recovery, I had a hard time grasping that I shouldn’t expect to love how I look every day. I thought, “Isn’t that what this is all about?”

The thing is, you can absolutely love the way you look, but you will inevitably have moments where you don’t — even as someone with a fully healed and healthy relationship with your body.

By shifting your energy away from trying to love how your body looks to being free of caring so deeply about how your body looks, you may find yourself living a life of freedom you’d never imagined (nude beach, anyone?).

Realize the impact you’re making.

You are not alone in your body image struggles. Body hate and body dissatisfaction run deep among people of all genders, sexes, orientations, races, ethnicities, shapes, and sizes.

If you feel your body does not adhere to the completely unrealistic standards society wields upon us, putting on a bathing suit can spark a wave of influence. Whether a stranger dealing with body insecurities or your own child growing up in a world rife with superficialities, you showing up — as you are — can spread the message that all bodies are worthy bodies.

I realize some of these tips are easier said than done, and only you can decide if and when to put them into practice.

If you’re hesitant, remind yourself that any challenge, discomfort, or fear faced with embracing your body is likely still better than the pain or torment you would otherwise experience by letting society deprive you of a day at the beach—in your body—just as you deserve.

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